Bangkok By Blog

“Have Nice girl. You want?”
(Taxi driver outside the Shangri-La Hotel, Bangkok)

The goal – I had an afternoon free, so I set off on a mission to Panthip plaza, mecca of all things electrical to Bangkok shoppers.

The plan – I’ll catch a cab, I figured … And look, here’s a nice taxi stand conveniently located steps from the Hotel. Perfect.

Here’s What actually transpired :

Taxi Driver: “Where you go?”
Me: “Panthip Plaza.”
“Where ah?”
“P-a-n-t-h-i-p plaza”
“Ah. You go now?”
No, actually I was planning a trip for next week and just thought I’d come over and OK it with you so you can clear your schedule. Of course I want to go now!
“Yes, now please”
“You go somewhere else?”
“No, just Panthip plaza”
“where ah?”
“P-a-n-t-..”
“ah, Panthip plaza?”
“Yes, panthip plaza”
“You go somewhere else?”
At this point I’m wondering if I’m being Punk’d by MTV Thailand.
“No, just Panthip plaza. How much to Panthip plaza please?”
“ah, you want Jewelry? Nice restaurant? You hire me for whole day OK?”
“No, just to Panthip plaza please”
“ah, Panthip plaza can not”
“can not?”
“can not ah.”
It dawns on me around this point that because of it being rush hour, and Bangkok traffic being legendary, it probably isn’t worth the cabbie’s time to fight traffic for an hour for just a one-way fare. So he was trying to finagle a more lucrative arrangement for himself. No problem, I thought, I have a map. I’ll just walk the 2 kilometers or so.

“Actually, I’ll just walk, thanks anyway.”
“You no want jewelry? Nice restaurant ?”

I’m looking around trying make my escape now.

“Ah, Have nice girl. You want?”
Well, that changes everything! Why didn’t you just say so, I would have dropped this whole Panthip plaza charade a long time ago!

“no thanks. no want”

At this point the cab driver proceeds to produce a set of pictures from his pocket, of the aforementioned “nice girls”, wearing carefully tailored birthday suits.

As I smiled politely and left, he had started to expand on the services offered by his nice girls. You had to admire the guy’s entrepreneurial spirit. Cabbie pimping is a service that has been ignored for far too long.

In any event, I did eventually make it to Panthip plaza. Heaven for any self-respecting engineer. Lots of gadgets.

I also had better luck finding a cab for the return trip back to the Shangri-La.